I don’t know about you, but, “I don’t do Rollercoaster’s”! Fortunately, life has a way to “Force Us” into facing our fears (or putting them off emotionally). No matter where you are in respect to time in the Marine Corps (starting out or over 10 years) it is still important to know, at least part of, what will happen once you begin the Deployment Rollercoaster.
There are three phases:
- Pre-Deployment
- Deployment and
- Post-Deployment
Pre-Deployment: This is the beginning. If it is your first time, you don’t know what kind of ride it will be. You have heard, but between hearing and experience is a huge gap. If it is your second time or even more, you have an idea of what’s going to happen but you have prepared better because of your past experiences.
During this time you experience an “Anticipation of Loss”. You may ask yourself questions like: What am I going to do? Why do they have to leave? It is easy to try and find someone to blame, but ultimately the decision to join the Marine Corps, was one made by the Marine. Remember that they have a job to do that includes being deployed.
Soon you move to: Detachment and Withdrawal. I should get used to them being gone, so I will distance myself. There will be tense times, unwarranted disagreements but don’t let this keep you from re-affirming your love and support. This is a time to draw near not away.
Deployment: This is when you experience the highs and lows of the Ride. This cycle shows us that no matter how much we prepare, we are no match for; Emotional Disorganization. Just like going around and upside down on the loops, you may feel a combination of positive and negative feelings; pride, loneliness, anger, love, disorganization. If you believe that you are experiencing emotional disorganization and it is taking a long time to move on, seek help from a professional for your well being. Next is Recovery and Stabilization. You are coming near the end of the ride, where you come down off the rush. This is the time your emotions begin to improve. This is when all your preparations pay off. Your emotions and stability begin to get stronger and more positive and lead into Anticipation of Homecoming. By this time the deployment is half over and you can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel! This is when you start making signs (or at least think about what the signs will say) and preparing the family with plans for homecoming. You become positive, excited, nervous and happy!
Post-Deployment: This is the reintroduction cycle. This is when we Renegotiate the Relationship. Now is the time to talk about feelings and experiences and what accommodations need to be made to fit changes in each of you. The final stage is: Reintegration and Stabilization. This takes a little time. New routines have been established and you are feeling more relaxed and comfortable with each other. You are a family again and the sense of security is growing.
Now if you have read this and are saying to yourself, “this sounds like something a spouse may go through”, you are right. But consider this, more and more Single Marines and Sailors are in our ranks. This means that the majority of them depend on their parents to assist them before, during and after deployment times. As parents, you experience some of the nuances of the Emotional Deployment Cycle Roller Coaster. You can be successful if you understand what is happening to you during these times. Kathleen Vestal Logan’s book on the Emotional Cycle of Deployment will also help you understand what is happening to you emotionally during the ride.
I can’t stress enough to attend the briefings: Pre, During and Post Deployments. If you aren’t able to attend, speak to your FRO about posting brief information on the Unit webpage and/or sending the brief to you. The Pre-Deployment briefs are packed with need to know information. Please know that you will not be able to see the entire brief that was given live. It will be sanitized due to OPSEC. Encourage your FRO to come to the MarineParents.com chat room to answer questions for the unit family members.
